Hello Sir,
Thanks for sharing your experience!
I agree that buying on ebay may be a hasty decision for most of us and so there is a steady Dispute Resolution mechanism present, so that you are not generally at loss. But for many sellers who add features to their listings, it is indeed a pain and a loss of time & effort.
But instead of blaming the system, if we try to turn it into our favour, it may help! So I suggest,
Lure your buyers into the deal so that they may actually complete the transaction.
This can be through regular communication, offering Discounts & Bonus-Gifts, informing the positives of buying from you and even by helping them make buying-decisions! Turn the deal into something more than a 'Take-Payment-Ship-Item' situation, maybe into a relationship. If I were a non-paying bidder, this would definitely draw me towards you.
If you sell items in Auction, selling to the second-highest bidder (in case the winner doesn't turn up) will also be a better option rather than relisting with loss of Time + Feature-fees + Efforts. Believe me, most second-chance offers really do work!
Happy Selling !!
(and do buy often too ;-))